What does it mean to goal set subjectively? Ever wonder how some people are able to sustain motivation for long periods? Ever wonder why you seem to get stuck on a goal after that first initial wave of motivation fades away?
The difference could be in how you’re relating to your goals.
In other words, is it a goal that you’ve been inspired to set, or a goal that society has told you what you should be pursuing.
Is it a subjective motivation or an objective one?
Subjective Goal Setting Vs Objective Goal Setting
There are subjective goals & then there are objective goals. Subjective goals are goals created from inspiration and deep inclinations.
When you pursue deep interests or have a desire that’s unique to you that others may have trouble understanding, your goals lack the objective quality for two main reasons.
- It’s not a commonly shared goal.
- There isn’t a clear objective. The goal is hidden within the process.
Objective goals are created by society and the monkey mind. Society says you need to institutionalize yourself with education so that you qualify for a stable career. The monkey mind says to fit in. Seek approval. Increase your status.
Subjective goals are growth-minded. They see themselves as a process unfolding.
Objective goals are fixed-minded. They see themselves as a static object. Areas of improvements aren’t clear and the opinions of others matter.
Subjective goals compare itself to what it was yesterday.
Objective goals compare other goals to what it is today.
How To Set a Subjective Goal
Setting subjective goals start with cultivating enough self-awareness to recognize what intrinsically motivates you.
Instead of seeking security and stability like money and validation, you set the intention to pursue deep interests, and character development.
If you were the protagonist in a story being told, what parts of who you are, would make the story interesting?
What are the parts of yourself that you’ve been putting off?
What have you been wanting to do or say that finally needs to be said?
What’s the deep interest or childhood inclination that needs to be addressed?
What’s the equally exciting and scary part of yourself that you’ve been wanting to explore?
That’s a subjective goal. It’s a goal that really only you can have because the goal is based on your own human experience.
When there’s an alignment with what you’re consciously choosing to focus your time and energy on, there’s a sense of knowing.
A knowing that you’re on the right path.
A knowing that whatever adversity comes is part of that path. So important challenges are welcomed, instead of avoided.
More Habits, Less Goals
Instead of goals, identify the habits. Instead of status, identify the characteristics.
Instead of motivation and innovations, identify the mental models and belief systems.
Instead of happiness, identify purpose.
When the goal becomes the objective, we forget where to place our feet to take the necessary steps forward.
When the process becomes the goal, we achieve clarity and the muse arrives.
Catch Your Goals On Fire, Slowly
Oftentimes, those who catch fire quickly enjoy the benefits of an early roaring flame that thens to die out not soon after.
The early rise to fame on quick fall from grace is so common it’s become a cliche, cautionary tale.
When we succeed with the initial humbling efforts, we tend to pay. The quickest way to avoid this is to burn slowly.
When we think of doing work that lasts, or projects that leads to a path worth exploring, we want to manufacture a steady burn that catches fire slowly.
This requires discipline, fierce energy, and focus. The temptation is to compare who we are today to someone else, instead of to who we are today to who we were yesterday.
Subjectively, there is only one path that matters. Our own. Catch fire, slowly.
Let Go Of Control
No one has ever created a masterpiece by choice. The creativity was the result of an open process.
An artist was courageous enough to follow the thread. Maybe there was an outline or a deliberate theme, but the end result wasn’t the exact replica of the initial inspiration.
The need to control can become a bottleneck when we’re trying to pour our ideas into the creative bucket.
What we need is openness. The goal will transform over time. The path will take a detour. The incentives will change, and that is okay.
What you wanted, in the beginning, may not be what you want in the end. What worked yesterday will not work today, so you will have to try something new.
When we’re open, and learn to let go, we leave space for something better to appear.